potential-and-difference:

prop-215:

dazegetbrighter:

what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?

How stoned are you right now?

Was that a fucking pun?

(via zats-me)

tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

(via audreylikesabsinthe)

dirkstr8der:

the-winchester-initiative:

cryonetics:

snorlaxatives:

*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*

What a turn on.

Get out.

why does everyone say get out when somebody makes a pun dont get out get in here and make more puns

(via karebeargoesxpoofx)

ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

(via audreylikesabsinthe)